Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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