Joe is yelling at the trees again.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
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