Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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