I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
