So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
