i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
