Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Well I just put wine in my tea
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
