Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
