I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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