i always forget guys have bellybuttons
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
