There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
The air taste purple.
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