Can Purell be used as lube?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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