:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
Randomize
