tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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