That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
