You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Success! We fucked roommates!
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