Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Hey I just woke up in the back of a pickup truck parked at taco bell... Can u come get me?
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
