the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
What am I supposed to say? "Hey remember last spring when I did an ergonomic assessment on your office, well here's an ergo for your dick."
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
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