After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
