So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
