Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
I just need to go to a bar tonight wrapped in an American flag singing the national anthem
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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