Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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