You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
Randomize
