I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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