Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
