Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
