the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
Randomize
