This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
He said it was the classiest hand job he ever had because my nails were painted red. We need to go to nicer bars from now on.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
