we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
That awkward moment when you were so fucking drunk lastnight that you and your fuck buddy wake up wearing eachother's clothing covered in hot cheetos with his cat curled up between your heads meowing. Thought you'd appreciate this moment with me.
Randomize
