Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
