Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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