awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just saw an old lady yelling at a dead pigeon for leaving the oven on.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Randomize