Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
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