I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
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