coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
i just watched kanye west and taylor swift have a chugging contest. why cant halloween be every day
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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