i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
Randomize
