Already got asked if we're dating
im drinking this country out of the recession.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
Randomize
