It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
