I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Randomize
