which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
Randomize
