I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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