I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Randomize
