This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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