I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
