he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Do you remember whose house we're in?
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
