what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
