I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
thank god dogs can't talk. they see way to much.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
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