I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Randomize
