Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Randomize
