Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
you know you've had too much sex when your vagina hurts when you laugh
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
